The challenge – most people like being connected, but very few people are satisfied with their social connections and relationships, and most in western countries we are not well connected.
The science – social networks have a huge influence on all aspects of our daily lives, and our relationships have a huge impact on wellbeing.
The solution – other people matter. Focus on, nurture, and invest in personal relationships.
Some people are loners. Some have more friends than Richard Branson. An individual’s friendship circles are dictated to a large degree by their personality style – for example, extroverts usually have more friends than introverts. However, it’s not only about the number of friends, but of the quality of those relationships. For instance, would you rather have 500 friends that you spend 3 minutes with once a year, or 60 friends you connect with for 30 minutes every few weeks? Answers vary according to personality preference.
Surprisingly, looking back though human history a common figure of 150 seems to be apparent – for example army units (divisions, legions, etc) were on average 150 in size up to the central command. Today the median number of Facebook friends is 200. Speaking of which, social networking websites such as Facebook are good examples of social networks.
One reason we form these networks is because they help us manage our complex social world. Our social networks have an extraordinary influence because we are not only affected by the people to whom we are directly connected, but also by the other people to whom our connections are connected. The science indicates that social networks follow some pretty simple rules:
Rule 1: We shape our network.
Rule 2: Our network shapes us.
Rule 3: Our friends affect us.
Rule 4: Our friends’ friends’ friends affect us.
Rule 5: The network has a life of its own.
So what do we know about social networks, connectedness, and wellbeing? Well first, emotions are contagious! Rule number four, otherwise known as the “Three Degrees of Influence Rule” is an interesting example of this. In short it means that the behaviours and emotions of people three degrees of separation away in a network (i.e. your friends’ friends’ friends) have an affect on you. Being connected to a happy friend makes you 15 percent more likely to be happy yourself, to a friend’s friend 10 percent, and being connected at three degrees of separation (the happiness of a friend of a friend of a friend) makes you 6 percent more likely.
This network flow through also applies to (or has similar findings) for things like obesity or smoking or charitable giving or depression. The point here is, hey, be careful who your friends are as your colleague's husband's sister can make you unhappy, even if you don't know her!
So why is this important to know? Well, social relationships are critical for promoting wellbeing. People’s wellbeing improves when they have richer social networks and connect with others including friends, relatives, colleagues and neighbours.
So what should you do? Well it may pay to focus on others as other people matter, not just in themselves, but in relation to your wellbeing and to those who you work with and care about. Invest in building relationships, and enabling those around you. Cultivate meaningful bonds and loyalty at work rather than selfish alternatives. Foster emotional stampedes.
For more information:
Christakis, N. A. & Fowler, J. H. (2009). Connected: The surprising power of our social networks and how they shape our lives. New York: Little Brown and Company.
The science – social networks have a huge influence on all aspects of our daily lives, and our relationships have a huge impact on wellbeing.
The solution – other people matter. Focus on, nurture, and invest in personal relationships.
Some people are loners. Some have more friends than Richard Branson. An individual’s friendship circles are dictated to a large degree by their personality style – for example, extroverts usually have more friends than introverts. However, it’s not only about the number of friends, but of the quality of those relationships. For instance, would you rather have 500 friends that you spend 3 minutes with once a year, or 60 friends you connect with for 30 minutes every few weeks? Answers vary according to personality preference.
Surprisingly, looking back though human history a common figure of 150 seems to be apparent – for example army units (divisions, legions, etc) were on average 150 in size up to the central command. Today the median number of Facebook friends is 200. Speaking of which, social networking websites such as Facebook are good examples of social networks.
One reason we form these networks is because they help us manage our complex social world. Our social networks have an extraordinary influence because we are not only affected by the people to whom we are directly connected, but also by the other people to whom our connections are connected. The science indicates that social networks follow some pretty simple rules:
Rule 1: We shape our network.
Rule 2: Our network shapes us.
Rule 3: Our friends affect us.
Rule 4: Our friends’ friends’ friends affect us.
Rule 5: The network has a life of its own.
So what do we know about social networks, connectedness, and wellbeing? Well first, emotions are contagious! Rule number four, otherwise known as the “Three Degrees of Influence Rule” is an interesting example of this. In short it means that the behaviours and emotions of people three degrees of separation away in a network (i.e. your friends’ friends’ friends) have an affect on you. Being connected to a happy friend makes you 15 percent more likely to be happy yourself, to a friend’s friend 10 percent, and being connected at three degrees of separation (the happiness of a friend of a friend of a friend) makes you 6 percent more likely.
This network flow through also applies to (or has similar findings) for things like obesity or smoking or charitable giving or depression. The point here is, hey, be careful who your friends are as your colleague's husband's sister can make you unhappy, even if you don't know her!
So why is this important to know? Well, social relationships are critical for promoting wellbeing. People’s wellbeing improves when they have richer social networks and connect with others including friends, relatives, colleagues and neighbours.
So what should you do? Well it may pay to focus on others as other people matter, not just in themselves, but in relation to your wellbeing and to those who you work with and care about. Invest in building relationships, and enabling those around you. Cultivate meaningful bonds and loyalty at work rather than selfish alternatives. Foster emotional stampedes.
For more information:
Christakis, N. A. & Fowler, J. H. (2009). Connected: The surprising power of our social networks and how they shape our lives. New York: Little Brown and Company.