The challenge – It’s hard to always look at the world from an optimistic view point.
 
The science – An optimistic explanatory style (way of thinking) is strongly related to wellbeing and performance.
 
The solution – Learning to be more optimistic in your thinking will likely increase your wellbeing and performance.
 
 
Some people are ‘glass half empty’ people, and chances are you know a couple. On the other hand, some are ‘glass half full’ and chances are you know a couple these people as well. Most people sit somewhere in between, and their views of things are impacted by a range of situational and personal dispositional factors.
 
Optimistic individuals are positive about events in daily life. In the research carried out regarding this perspective, positive associations have been found between optimism and physical and mental wellbeing. Optimistic people tend to be more resilient to stress, and are inclined to use more appropriate coping strategies. Here is just a brief snapshot of some of these research findings:

• Optimists have better immune functioning and fewer illnesses, and recover from illness and injury faster.
• A pessimistic explanatory style is significantly associated with mortality – 19% greater mortality over 30 years.
• Optimists are more rational and realistic than pessimists.
• Pessimists are less resilient in difficult circumstances that optimists.
• Optimists use more problem-focused strategies, information seeking, and positive reframing.

 
Let’s look past these more general findings and look at one particular area: sales. To quote Peter Schulman:
 
Studies conducted with two insurance companies, for example, found that sales people with optimistic explanations went on to sell significantly more insurance and were less likely to quit than those with pessimistic explanations. The optimistic salespeople sold 35 percent more insurance than the pessimists. Also, the pessimists were twice as likely as the optimists to quit by the end of their first year.
 
Other academics (e.g., Weiner, 1985; Badovick,1990) have also found a relationship between optimistic attributions and sales performance. Why do optimists sell more than pessimists? One important clue to the answer is how the individual handles adversity. As mentioned above, optimists use more problem-focused strategies. Another reason is that people want to do business with people they like. And that means happy, upbeat salespeople are more successful than their sour colleagues. Optimism is helpful not only because it leads to projecting a happy attitude, but also because it results in confidence – one of the most crucial selling skills. Expectations of success or failure are often self-fulfilling prophecies.
 
The moral of this story is that ability and motivation are not always enough in the absence of optimistic expectations, particularly in situations that require persistence to overcome adversity, such as in jobs like sales. The links go from optimism increasing wellbeing, to increased wellbeing positively impacting performance (such as sales or productivity). Luckily, there are plenty of books and courses available to teach how become more optimistic – it’s a skill that can be learned.
 
For more information:
 
Seligman, M. E. P. (2006). Learned optimism: How to change your mind and your life (2nd ed). New York: Vintage Press.
 
Schulman, P. (1999). Applying learned optimism to increase sales productivity. Journal of Personal Selling and Sales Management, 19, 31-37.

The challenge – we know relationships are import for our wellbeing (see last week’s blog), but we also know great communication builds great relationships, yet communication skills can always be sharpened and improved.
 
The science – positive communication builds strong social relationships, as it is not just about good communication when things are going wrong, it is also about good communication when things are going right!
 
The solution – Focus on other people’s positive news and when you hear it, focus on it and help them savour it. This will help build strong social connections.
 
 
“Mate, that really sucks you got that parking ticket! Thanks man, appreciate that.” Such dialogue between people builds strong relationships. “Mate, that’s bloody awesome you closed that deal. Tell me more! What was the best part about it? What did you do exactly?”. Such dialogue between people builds even stronger relationships and the following explains exactly why.
 
This is because the latter is an Active Constructive Response. An active constructive response is essentially responding to other’s good news with enthusiasm, energy, and engagement. This type of response acknowledge the persons good news so they fell understood, lets then remember and enjoy it more, and thus strengthens the relationship connection.
 
There are essentially four ways of responding, and active constructive responding has been shown to build solid, strong and lasting relationships the best:

• An Active Constructive Response involves expressing enthusiastic positive support.
• An Active Destructive Response involves expressing a derogatory or critical response.
• A Passive Constructive Response involves showing benign disinterest.
• A Passive Destructive Response involves distancing or failing to respond.

 
Suppose that a colleague gets a promotion at work. These four types of responses could be something like:

• Active Constructive Response = “That’s really great. Your wife/husband will be pretty proud of you. I know how important that promotion was to you. We should go out and celebrate”. During such communication the person is maintaining eye contact and displaying positive emotion, such as laughing or smiling.
• Active Destructive Response = “That sounds like a lot of responsibility to take on. There will probably be more stress involved in the new position and potentially longer hours at the office”. The person is displaying negative emotions, such as frowning or anxiety.
• Passive Constructive Response = “That’s good news”. The person is displaying little nonverbal communication.
• Passive Destructive Response = “What are we doing Friday afternoon?” The person does not acknowledge the good news, is not in eye contact, and may be turning away or leaving the room.

 
Empirical studies suggest that using ‘active constructive responding’ is a good way to convey understanding, validation and caring, and to increase the wellbeing of your existing friends, as well as to make new friends and to encourage closer, more trusting relationships with them.
 
So if you want strong lasting relationships, you should listen carefully to people you care about, and when they report good events to you, respond actively and constructively to their good events. What this technique highlights is that giving enthusiastic and attentive feedback is very important in building positive on-going relationships. Don’t take people and key relationships for granted, instead consciously work to improve them. Small actions, such as positive communication at the right time, can drastically improve your relationships over time. It is these kinds of behaviours that do the most to strengthen the relationships in our lives, and we know good strong relationships build personal and group wellbeing. As mentioned in the last blog post, other people matter, so foster a sense of genuine interest and curiosity in others.
 
For more information:
 
Gable, S. L., Reis, H. T., Impett, E., & Asher, E. R. (2004). What do you do when things go right? The intrapersonal and interpersonal benefits of sharing positive events. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87, 228-245. 

​The challenge – most people like being connected, but very few people are satisfied with their social connections and relationships, and most in western countries we are not well connected.
 
The science – social networks have a huge influence on all aspects of our daily lives, and our relationships have a huge impact on wellbeing.
 
The solution – other people matter. Focus on, nurture, and invest in personal relationships.
 
 
Some people are loners. Some have more friends than Richard Branson. An individual’s friendship circles are dictated to a large degree by their personality style – for example, extroverts usually have more friends than introverts. However, it’s not only about the number of friends, but of the quality of those relationships. For instance, would you rather have 500 friends that you spend 3 minutes with once a year, or 60 friends you connect with for 30 minutes every few weeks? Answers vary according to personality preference.
 
Surprisingly, looking back though human history a common figure of 150 seems to be apparent – for example army units (divisions, legions, etc) were on average 150 in size up to the central command. Today the median number of Facebook friends is 200. Speaking of which, social networking websites such as Facebook are good examples of social networks.
 
One reason we form these networks is because they help us manage our complex social world. Our social networks have an extraordinary influence because we are not only affected by the people to whom we are directly connected, but also by the other people to whom our connections are connected. The science indicates that social networks follow some pretty simple rules:

Rule 1: We shape our network.
Rule 2: Our network shapes us.
Rule 3: Our friends affect us.
Rule 4: Our friends’ friends’ friends affect us.
Rule 5: The network has a life of its own.

So what do we know about social networks, connectedness, and wellbeing? Well first, emotions are contagious! Rule number four, otherwise known as the “Three Degrees of Influence Rule” is an interesting example of this. In short it means that the behaviours and emotions of people three degrees of separation away in a network (i.e. your friends’ friends’ friends) have an affect on you. Being connected to a happy friend makes you 15 percent more likely to be happy yourself, to a friend’s friend 10 percent, and being connected at three degrees of separation (the happiness of a friend of a friend of a friend) makes you 6 percent more likely.
 
This network flow through also applies to (or has similar findings) for things like obesity or smoking or charitable giving or depression. The point here is, hey, be careful who your friends are as your colleague's husband's sister can make you unhappy, even if you don't know her!
 
So why is this important to know? Well, social relationships are critical for promoting wellbeing. People’s wellbeing improves when they have richer social networks and connect with others including friends, relatives, colleagues and neighbours. 
 
So what should you do? Well it may pay to focus on others as other people matter, not just in themselves, but in relation to your wellbeing and to those who you work with and care about. Invest in building relationships, and enabling those around you. Cultivate meaningful bonds and loyalty at work rather than selfish alternatives. Foster emotional stampedes.
 
For more information:
 
Christakis, N. A. & Fowler, J. H. (2009). Connected: The surprising power of our social networks and how they shape our lives. New York: Little Brown and Company.